MY PERSPECTIVE

Growing up in West Africa in the 80’s, there was a distinct lack of any cultural “local” artifacts in any self respecting African’s home. I also noticed how my comments of “wanting to furnish my house with the wicker chairs” (particularily those sold on the sides of the roads) constantly fell to deaf ears and curious stares. This of course lead me to believe that this is a definite lack of appreciation of our heritage, another issue the colonists have left us...blah blah blah...Roll on 20years and suddenly you can’t help notice the avant garde pieces of FANTASTIC art poignantly placed in almost every home! Suddenly, Africans are name dropping some local talent and the cost...yes, there is ‘loud’ murmurs of thousands of dollars that has been spent, and “how expensive ‘A’s art costs and “how prices change depending on who is purchasing.” So did we learn to appreciate our own culture...hmm not sure about all of that. What I am sure of is that the quality and finish has vastly improved. Gone are the art pieces of African Heads and Salad forks targeted to the tourists and africans living abroad. Gallery spaces as sought after , champagne and canapes are served at Art exhibitions and a swarm of “who’s who” in society are ever present. There is a huge movement in our art and we are shouting it LOUD and shouting it PROUD!!

Dark & Lovely Beautiful Beginnings Hair Products for children

Hair Conditioner and Scalp Soother: This is great for afro hair – inexpensive at around £2 per tube and because it comes in a tube it means I can squeeze out every last drop.
I use this on my daughter’s hair and scalp, applying every other day when her hair is usually in plaits.
It’s moisturises brilliantly and prevents her scalp from becoming dry and flaky. It also softens the hair making braiding much simpler and smells nice too.
I’ve tried other products and found that they can react badly to her scalp, causing dry flaky scalp. Another bonus is that it doesn’t leave oily residue on her clothes or pillows.
2 in 1 Shampoo & Conditioner: No fuss shampoo and conditioner in one. It’s always tough washing little girls’ hair especially when there’s lots of it. This 2-in-1 shampoo and conditioner, part of Dark & Lovely’s Beautiful Beginnings range is a great buy. It does what it says on the bottle, a couple of washes and rinse and I find combing through my daughter’s wet hair is a breeze. For hair that is a little more difficult to manage, there’s also a detangler and softening oil moisturizer in this range. Available in most Black Hair Stores.

The Single Woman’s Endless Pursuit

An article was recently published in the Guardian with the header ‘Women told to stop looking for Mr Right’. You can imagine how many single and married women’s attention it caught. It was an analysis of a new book called - Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough by Lori Gottlieb. An equally controversial title I hear you say but before we ladies start whipping off our bras and burning them in despair, let’s take a deep breath and break down Ms Gottlieb’s arguments.
In a nutshell she argues that women should end their endless pursuit of Mr. Right or be doomed to loneliness for the rest of their lives. I agree that sounds harsh and singlehood need not mean loneliness. In fact a lot of married women are lonely even when surrounded by children and a husband. Loneliness is a state of mind and it doesn’t necessarily go away when someone is with you if that person is not engaging with you. There are also many single women of all ages who have very fulfilling lives, who work hard, enjoy their careers, have more friends than they have hours in the day and enjoy the company of men on their terms.
Though I dont agree with everything Lori Gottlieb has to say, I find her main argument which is that women should stop looking for Mr. Right and settle for Mr. Good Enough persuasive at the very least. I know far too many women who spend their lives talking about their search for Mr. Right – the one with the ‘Va va voom’ who makes your heart skip a beat at the very sight of him. Others will go as far as to stipulate what their Mr. Perfect should look like – his height, his complexion, his build. To this I ask, “Are we not assuming that we are their Ms Perfects, and Ms Rights?” I’m all for aspiring but with a huge dose of reality. Also when it comes to affairs of the heart, I think we ought to be far more practical if we want something that lasts.
Relationships can be difficult and whilst I don't advocate being in a loveless marriage I do think we women need to think outside the box a little and realise that the 'right' person could be right under our noses. I have at least 3 friends whose marriages have turned out to be amazing - their partners are now without a doubt their perfect matches, but when they were dating these men, I once thought...'that's not the right one - you can do better.' I'm relieved they didn't listen to me and my foolish ideas.
Men are more practical than us when it comes to affairs of the heart and dare I say smarter too - they reach an age and decide that it’s time to settle down - and they do it. No fuss, no travelling around the globe in search of Ms. Va-va-voom. They just do it, regardless of whether the woman is their intellectual equal or not. And the reality is it works. I know many of us would like to tell ourselves that all those men who left us for bimbos are ruing the day they abandoned true love for convenience...but the reality is, they really aren't. They have worked out a 'happy and relatively content' life with their partner. She may not have an opinion on the US economic recovery or the war in Iraq but that’s okay because she can cook a mean stew, she listens to him, takes care of their kids and they get to spend quality time together.
Life is a lot simpler than we women realise. Mr. Good enough - if he respects and loves you enough could end up being Mr. Right. So all in all Ms Gottlieb in her seemingly shocking analysis may well be on to something.

Don't ignore the lumps!

Yes as uncomfortable as it seems, there are many warning signs/indicators for taking care of your assets or hinderances (boobs, breasts, tits - whatever takes our fancy).

Have you heard of Duct Ectasia Pendicular Mastitus? Nor had I until recently. Duct Ectasia Pendicular Mastitus is a condition that affects the ducts behind your nipple which collects fluid. The fluid may be non-bloody or a bloody discharge.

I had been having tingling feelings in my left beast for over a year or maybe more to be honest, I just ignored it, like we do. My pain was not related to my menstrual cycle it was just random, sometimes shooting pains which felt like hot needles being pieced into every vein in the related area. It had been keeping me up at nights, I would take pain killers, hot baths even take a hot water bottle to bed as the pain would radiate from my back over to the top of my shoulder. At first I thought it was my bra size as I had recently put on weight but soon ruled that out after having a fitting recently speared headed by Rigby and Peller report on high street shops not making the grade.

I decided to take matters into my own hands and took myself to the doctors. After a thorough examination and half an hour later I was contacted by the Breast Clinic in Farnborough Hospital for an immediate examination. I felt instantly sick, I thought I was going to pass out. It could only be breast cancer so I thought. I spent all day at the Breast Clinic the one stop shop. After an Ultra Sound, Mammogram and rigorous examinations I have a common illnesses that affects many women.

Just beware this maybe early signs of your menopause. If your ducts are blocked it can cause inflammation or infection and a lot of pain!!

Click here for more details.