Intelligence = Assembling flat pack furniture

Nothing quite tests your IQ like deciphering the instructions that come with flat pack furniture and successfully assembling the item. This is even more apparent when the items come from the Swedish giant, Ikea. It generally includes illustrations of funny looking but fearless cartoon men and series of pictures which all look identical but apparently tell you what to do and what not to do.
The whole Ikea experience is one that you approach with some trepidation to be fair; starting with the decision to enter the gigantic warehouse-style stores especially as it is a given that you will end up with a trolley full of relatively inexpensive things you had no idea you needed when you entered the store over two hours earlier. There is also the anxiety that comes with looking for the items you want in their flat pack form after seeing them nicely assembled on display and ensuring that you have each component needed. This is followed by the fear of pulling a muscle or breaking some part of your not so supple body as you struggle to place the heavy boxes on your cart and wheel them to the cash till.
Like me, you may also fall into the category of the 'brave and stupid' who decide to transform their ordinary car into a delivery van in order to avoid the £25 or £35 delivery charge. Under any other circumstance, the thought of logging an item that obstructs your rear view in your car or causes you to break into so much sweat as you try to secure it in the car, would not even cross your mind. Yet this seems like a relatively effortless exercise after the obstruction course you've already been through in the store.
The experience culminates in the assembly which is to be approached after either some Dutch courage or some form of mental preparation where you convince yourself that yes you can turn these 96 planks of wood and 173 screws and bolts into a bunk bed. I realise that men may scoff at this advice but I believe in reading and re-reading the instructions, checking all the components are there before approaching the exercise in small easily digestible actions, taking the items you need for each section and completing that section before approaching the remaining bits.

I may have underestimated what a challenge I was facing but 4 hours, and some mastery of using the allen key later, I achieved my goal.....a beautiful bunk bed that I would have been quite happy to enter into a competition as proof of my intelligence. It was a tough job but I think I proved my worth and was left feeling if I could achieve this, there was little else I couldn't do. Bring on the advanced Sudoku and the Times crossword puzzle.

For colored girls

First of all let me say this film is not going to be everyone's cup of tea...in fact it may only appeal to a select few who are happy to look beyond excruciatingly painful experiences to see the beauty and strength of the central characters. It may also help to read a synopsis of the play because if it’s a 'feel good' movie experience you're looking for....this ain't it. What it is is a reflection of the worst of our realities and an insight into how a group of nine women cope when faced with adversity.

It's tempting to dismiss this film as another 'Precious'....a depressing film that portrays a very grim African-American reality, where the men are rapists, cheats, liars, misogynists, where there is little evidence of hope. This would be an obvious message to take away, given that of the five male characters; only one of them was positive and likeable. The film though is not about the men; none of their characters are developed enough for us to really understand or want to empathise with them. Instead it is a film, as the play was, about the women, the colored girls who represent colours of the rainbow in Ntozake Shange's 1975 experimental play. It is about their weaknesses and passions, the mistakes they make in their lives, the emotional scars that they carry. The men are simply a backdrop, needed only to elucidate the women's stories.

The performances by Loretta Devine, Janet Jackson, Anika Noni Rose, Phylicia Rashad were extremely powerful; newcomer Tessa Thomson held her own and delivered her poems compellingly. Kimberly Elise is an incredible actress; you get the sense that she has lived a life full of so many trials that when called upon to convey the emotions of a deeply troubled character, she delivers with absolute precision.

Tyler Perry did absolute justice to Shange's play; the poems are delivered beautifully by some very talented actresses who clearly thrived from this challenging yet brilliantly executed project. The film brings the play to life and provides storylines and character development which Perry clearly understood would be useful especially for those who may find the poetry difficult to grasp. I expected over-acting, farce, a lack of realism as the critics had suggested but instead I got beauty, depth, poetry, love, laughter, pain, sorrow and I think above all strength.
If it's a feel good movie that requires little thought you want then try 'Meet the Parents 3'; if however you want to be challenged, driven to extreme feelings of anger and frustration, even despair but then brought back to a point of hope and admiration then this is where you need to be.
For colored girls who have considered suicide, when the rainbow is enuf : a choreopoem

The Secret Lives of Baba Segi's wives by Lola Shoneyin

I loved this laugh out loud novel which was tinged with moments of sadness and lots of frustration. I think you have to be in the right frame of mind to enjoy it nonetheless. The first time I picked it up, I wasn't quite there, not quite ready to snigger at the flamboyantly depicted characters in this debut novel. A week and a rather serious novel later, I wanted something light-hearted and decided to delve into The Secret Lives of Baba Segi's wives.
Lola Shoneyin is a Nigerian writer based in Abuja where she teaches, writes and raises her four children. She has an amazing talent for not only writing i.e. finding the right words to express herself but also for capturing the subtleties of Nigerian culture. I read page after page and was incredibly impressed by her ability to describe the smallest of details and most delicate of cultural nuances, to put it down on paper so seemingly effortlessly.
The Secret Lives of Baba Segi's wives is told from the perspective of the four wives, all very different who came to be married to Baba Segi (father of Segi), who for all his bafoonery and lack of decorum is a man with a good heart. The protagonist who is an outsider and who causes the Alao household to be turned upside down is the University graduate and fourth wife - Bolanle. Despite the fact that the novel centres around her, I think of all the characters we meet, her's is the least developed. The decision which she makes to marry an uneducated polygamist is not convincingly explained even by the end of the novel when the story unfolds and we encounter the deception, betrayal and disappointment.
The other wives, Iya Segi, Iya Tope and Iya Femi, who are given their names according to their eldest child  (iya meaning mother) are all brilliantly portrayed as is Baba Segi and his self-serving driver Taju. The background of modern day Ibandan is also captured perfectly. The reader observes the social dynamics, the way different sections of society interact with and view each other. Lola Shoneyin's novel exposes tensions between employer and employee, wife and co-wives, landlord and tenant, mother and child and ofcourse husband and wife. In each interaction there are elements that we recognise either from personal experience or from observing those around us.

At first glance, the story may seem foreign, the concept of polygamy is not one that those of us living in the Western world are familiar with, but this just provides a background for so many human emotions that we can all relate to in one form or another. Above all this is a novel that will make you laugh, gasp, shake your head with incredulity and recommend. Lola Shoneyin has the gift of language and something that is perhaps a more difficult art to perfect - comedy. A funny and thought-provoking read.
The Secret Lives of Baba Segi's Wives

Good Hair

Sometimes you watch something that compels you to keep on watching.....it’s often a strange You Tube video like the one of the little person miming to Rihanna's Only Girl - I'm not sure if car crash TV is the right expression but essentially you find yourself mesmerised, glued to the images even though every fibre in your body tells you there is something so wrong going on and that your time would be better spent reading a book or rewriting that CV.

Chris Rock's documentary 'Good Hair' however, compels you in a more positive way; it should be a must for every black person and for every person who has a child with afro hair. The comedian's depiction of the black hair industry as documented in this film left me at a loss for words. I get the hair thing of course; I grew up with a clear idea of what was considered 'good hair' and 'bad hair'. Like most little girls, regardless of colour, I dreamt of having long flowing hair à la Rapunzel. I also had my hair relaxed in my teens as a special treat after pestering my mum for years on end. Therefore I get the issues relating to black hair; however I had no concept of the complexities of the black hair industry. For instance, I know about weaves but never imagined for a second that women spent that much money on them or that they came from hindu temples in India. Chris Rock opened my eyes to a world that I was relieved to note, I no longer inhabit.

He interviewed a lot of black celebrities from Rev. Al Sharpton and his permed hair to Maya Angelou who confessed to relaxing her hair for the first time at the age of 70. It was quite refreshing to see Stars like Nia Long, Salt n Pepa and Meagan Good being honest about their weaves and opening up about the all important but rather delicate subject of black women and their hair. In a superficial world where the thin, long haired, beautiful Hollywood Stars all like to pretend that they look as good as they do with little or no effort, it was nice to see Raven Symone demonstrate that she was wearing a weave (which she loves) by giving it a playful tug. Likewise it was brave of Nia Long to admit that getting her hair wet whether in a pool or the shower was a no-no.

I doubt Good Hair will change people's habits but it may make them think a little bit more about what they do especially where children are concerned. Although I largely believe that the hairstyles people choose do not necessarily reflect who they are, I do think knowing the composition of what you put on your two year child's head should play some part in your quest for her to have manageable hair.

Whilst hair can be fun and playful and about changing your appearance, it can also have some pretty serious health consequences. Good Hair is an eye opener of a documentary that had me strangely captivated.
Good Hair

Fela! the Musical – It's all about the exclamation marks!!!!

Energetic! Superb! Phenomenal! I could go on using laudable words and exclamation marks to describe this brilliantly directed and choreographed musical about a Nigerian musical icon.


I heard about Fela! earlier this year, even though the musical started off Broadway in 2008 and made its debut on Broadway with the backing of entertainment heavyweights Jay Z, Will and Jada Pinkett-Smith in November 2009. A year later it has come to London and everyone seems to want a piece of Fela!

The show started with Rolan Bell as Fela, the small in stature, giant of a man engaging the audience and asking us all to say ‘Yeah Yeah!’ It was clear from the beginning that this was not going to be a ‘sit in your seat and observe passively’ kind of show. At one point the audience was asked to stand up and follow Fela and his beautiful and incredibly agile dancers as they did the ‘clock’ dance which involved the Queens (his female dancers who he later ‘married’ simultaneously) showing us how to use our behinds much to our's and his amusement.

Most of the scenes take place at the Shrine, Fela’s club where there is everything in abundance, music, dancing, weed or ibo smoking and beautiful women. The Director, Bill T Jones does a superb job of giving us a glimpse into the life of a man who became notoriously political, denouncing the corruption not only of Nigerian politicians, including military leaders Generals Obsanjo and Buhari but also of the international community, companies like Shell that plundered the wealth of the Nigerian people and propped up oppressive regimes. The influence of his mother who died tragically of injuries sustained at the hands of Obasanjo’s soldiers who raided Fela’s compound is evident throughout this powerful musical.

Rolan Bell who is currently understudy to Sahr Nguajah (who I believe in ‘on loan’ from the Broadway Production) was a pleasant surprise, having appeared in Eastenders as the perhaps forgettable love interest of the character Chelsea, Theo, he was at his best as Fela Anikulapo-Kuti. What an incredible British talent! He played the saxophone convincingly, sang amazingly well in between rather long and complex delivery of his lines which were sometimes in Pidgin-English. He was able to improvise effortlessly with the audience taking his cue from the braver theatre-goers who did everything from confess to having spent time in jail to request a drag from his spliff (weed). He even did a good job on the Yoruba and Pidgin pronunciation, apparently even better than Ngaujah according to a Nigerian friend who ‘ought’ to know. If I had a criticism it would be length of the scene ‘Dance of the Orisas’ and the fact they chose a Soprano for the part of Fela’s mum. It didn’t sit well in my humble opinion with the rest of the very Afrobeat tunes but of course that did not take away from the fact that Melanie Marshall who played Funmilayo Kuti is an incredible talent.

It was extremely refreshing to see so much British and International talent, although a good portion of the cast were British, there was also representation from Cape-Verde, Ghana, Guinea, Senegal, Ivory Coast, Kenya, the USA, Jamaica and of course Nigeria. The dancers were AMAZING in a word! They moved so effortlessly with incredible precision. My favourite choreography was to the track ‘Zombie’ – it blew me away completely and had the entire theatre giving them a standing ovation. My favourite musical interpretation was definitely ‘Kere Kay’ – overall the show was Superb and without a doubt a Must See!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WjxMQqGlB94

Brooklyn by Colm Tóibín

I started reading this book and felt like I could carry on until the last page and even then I would have wanted more. The writing is superb, simply put it’s beautiful. No need for head scratching or reaching for dictionary just a plain yet meaningful use of the English language. Tóibín superbly conveys the main character, Eilis Lacey’s sentiments and the reader is able to experience everything she does, from the close family ties that she leaves behind in Ireland, to the newness of her experiences in Brooklyn, to the colourful characters she meets and their hopes and aspirations and perhaps the most poignant of all, the beautiful depiction of her feelings of loneliness and powerlessness at being so far from home.
Brooklyn gripped me from the start and I devoured every page of it. I was so drawn into the book that I found my heart beating faster as we reached a critical point in Eilis’ life where she’s faced with a difficult decision. At this point I had already formed my allegiances and I became irritated and even angry at her actions but I guess that is a testament to Tóibín’s talent.

To say the book is an easy read would be missing the point even if it is that….it is also so much more. Simply put, Brooklyn is a beautiful book that will make you want to go on an adventure, discover new things but most of all cherish home and family, these elements that we sometimes underestimate yet that often hold the key to our happiness.

Brooklyn: A Novel

Happy Birthday to me...la la la la la la.

Birthdays are special, regardless of how old you are. The day you, the wonderful human being that you are today should be celebrated!
I've always been big on birthdays, I plan and inform friends and family so that there are no excuses for forgetting to wish me a happy birthday or not attending whatever event I organise. Call me shameless but why keep schtum if it's going to mean having to spend the most important day of the year angry with everyone for having either forgotten your birthday or made plans that clash with your big night out!

Besides what's the big idea of not wanting to celebrate because you're getting older, as though sitting at home and sulking will stop time. Whether you like it or not, you will turn 30 and then 40 and so on, so why not cram as much fun and living into those years as possible so that you don't end up regretting them?

My recipe for a good birthday includes atleast 3 days of activities, one with the family, one with friends and one with just yourself. If there's someone special in your life this could extend to 4 days or you could simply allocate a night for your better half. You should spend some of the time being thankful for your life, what you've achieved and those who love you but also reflecting on what you want to do with the future that lies ahead of you.
When it comes to presents - don't ask for vouchers or money, let people who know you choose something that's personal. I always enjoy getting presents that I would not ordinarily choose for myself but nonetheless reflect me and my personality. There are times that loved ones will miss the mark and get you something that you may not like but I still think its important to look at each gift for what it is - an expression of someone's appreciation of You. So what if the earrings are a bit bigger than you would like, keep them in your jewellery box and you may end up wearing them when the 80s make a second comeback.

Celebrating your birthday is like taking part in life - sometimes we seem to sit on the fence, refusing to subscribe to this festival or that trend, but what are we really gaining? So what if you're above Valentine's day - how often does someone offer you a bunch of flowers throughout the year? And yes Christmas has become commercialised and turkey isn't the nicest of meats - but when was the last time you and your entire family spent the day together? In a similar vein birthdays are about participating - take part in the celebration of you. If you're not happy with your age, just don't tell anyone but let your hair down, eat good food and pamper yourself, simply because it's a day that is all about You!

Stop that snooping now!

I know it seems like a contradiction to say that people shouldn't snoop on each other's Facebook as that is after all the raison d'etre of social networking sites - legitimized 'curtain twitching'. For this reason, I would suggest that everyone carefully vet who they add to, and what information they divulge on their Facebook. My gripe however is with those 'friends' who are proud to say that they never include any information on their Facebook or update it, the ones who are opposed to including pictures of themselves and their families but are quite happy to view my pictures and visit my page every day. That strikes me as a bit of a one-sided relationship where you, my 'friend' get to take and give nothing in return so I've decided to make it my goal to pull the plug on you.
It's like this....either you're interested in Facebook or you're not, if you're not...I would respect you for simply not opening an account. If you do however decide to open an account then you should populate it, granted not everyone has time on their hands or anything worth posting about to update their wall or profile or status everyday or every week for that matter but when the last activity on your wall was you becoming friends with someone 3 months ago then that tells me it's time for you and I to part company...atleast in cyberspace.

I know for a fact that some people take pleasure in observing the lives of others, passing judgement and boasting that they give nothing in return which is why I want you to forget the numbers game, it's about quality not quantity people. I think everyone should periodically delete inactive Facebook friends. It's extremely therapeutic - honestly, you should try it.
I'm sure like me you hate the thought of someone who hasn't dropped you line in a year or more since they asked to be added as your 'friend' ...and yet still have access to your family photos and details of things you find interesting. On a personal note, I consider Facebook a useful tool for keeping in touch with family and friends all over the globe, and in some cases keeping in touch with people I admire or find interesting... it's less about getting in touch with the old schoolmates or random friends of friends who for the most part I will have little or nothing in common with, but more a way of allowing my friends who I once saw regularly but no longer see because either I or they have moved to another country, access to photos of my children, so they get to see them grow and to hear about my new life wherever that may be.
The 'takers' as I've decided to call snoopy passive facebook friends defeat the purpose of social networking sites. My question is if you're too busy or too private to update your status, or add a personal photo or post articles or things of interest, then what on earth are you doing on Facebook? Television is a far better medium for you as it requires a passive audience....shows like 'Gossip Girl' or the Hills work best as their format is like watching a CCTV recording of someone's life. I would advise you stay away from the likes of X factor or Strictly Come Dancing ('Dancing with the stars' in the USA) as they too may require some audience participation.
But for crying out loud, do stop accumulating friends who you have no intention of interacting with.

En Vogue in Concert

As we stood waiting for Maxine, Terri, Dawn and Cindy to come on stage, I was baffled by the presence of a number of men in groups waiting excitedly to watch En Vogue in concert at the Indigo2 in London. I assumed it was going to be a Galfest....a ladies night where we would get to sing along to all the oldies but goodies. Then I had a flashback to the 'Giving him something he can feel' video and it became crystal clear that these men were here to witness their fantasies on stage, albeit 18 years since they last performed in the UK.
True to form, they did not disappoint, the four members of En Vogue appeared on stage to screams and cheers. They looked amazing dressed in black and silver and sang their hearts out from the moment they came out until they gave their final thank you's and left the stage. There were no antics, no costume changes, no special effects... just good ole fashioned entertainment. It was easy to forget that three of them are in their late 40s; their bodies are still incredible and they moved the way they did 20 years ago. They did a medley of motown songs paying tribute to the likes of Tina Turner and Diana Ross and the Supremes and ended with the infamous choreography of 'Giving him Something he can feel', at which point most of the men who had pushed in front of us by this time were now pressed against the barrier near the stage, gawking at the four sexy, sultry women like pubescent boys.

We sang along to hits like 'Hold On' , You're Never Gonna Get it', 'Free your mind' and 'Don't let go'. Dawn Robinson who was also in the group Lucy Pearl treated us to an all female version of 'Dont mess with my man' which had us all gesticulating and doing a diva-esque head roll. It was a blast of a night and reminded us of what real entertainment is - we were there to see these four women, to hear their incredible vocal ranges and witness their energy and their personalities. Each of them have their own individual style and unique singing voice and we were left in awe. If they look this good as they approach their 50s, my guess we haven't seen or heard the last of En Vogue yet. Bring on the new album and hopefully many more exciting concerts.
Very Best of En Vogue

Say you're one of them

 
This is not the Africa I know....Akpan depicts an Africa of victims and oppressors...there is no in-between...children are left to fend for themselves and of course the Western world has lapped this up as it no doubt reinforces their one-dimensional view of Africa.
I have lived and travelled all over Africa - and been to all but one of the countries depicted in this book and what I take away time and again are stories of hope and ambition. Many years ago, I worked in Kenya with someone who lived in the Kibera slums, but to look at this well turned out young man with dreams bigger than mine, you would have no idea of his living conditions or that he was surviving on one basic meal a day and supporting a family of 8. Likewise I have heard many stories of national solidarity in Rwanda during and following the 1994 genocide. People who live in poverty in Africa in my experience have dreams and aspirations as big as anyone else's.

The story that carries the book's title and deals with the Rwandan genocide is over simplistic at best....the round dark faced Hutu versus the light Tutsi with fine features....the evil Hutu genocidaires, the apathetic UN soldiers and ofcourse the vengeful Tutsi RPF soldiers - again we find ourselves in a setting where African children have nowhere to turn, no one to save them.

Say you're one of them' depicts an Africa of victims, one where Africans cannot rescue one another because they are all either evil or poor and helpless. I suppose this presumes that we are a continent waiting to be rescued by the benevolent Western world. While I do not question Akpan's ability to write, I do find it sad that so many reviews have suggested that his stories are in some ways the 'true' Africa and I find it even sadder that Akpan himself sees no hope in his continent or his own people. Had this been a story of one country and one perspective it would be forgiving but to put it forward as in some ways depictive of Africa as a continent and African children's life is a shocking indictment of the continent and in my humble opinion one that is wholly inaccurate.
The following is a review from Amazon.com:
"This book [sic] is really opened my eyes to how children in Africa live and suffer. You always hear about how things are bad there generally, but this author really brings the point home. And that is why I could not finish the book - I felt like it's not really fiction, some variation of the short stories is happening right now to many African children."
How very sad ......as if the BBC and CNN have not done a brilliant enough job of depicting an Africa of wars, corruption, famine and suffering with not much else - here we have an African writer cementing their already skewed views of the continent - is it any wonder we're still dismissed as a basket case?

Say You're One of Them (Oprah's Book Club)

Make mine a glass half full

Positive people are such a breath of fresh air. I have a friend who is always excited about life, no matter how seemingly dull or banal the experience; he will make it sound like the best thing since sliced bread. Every dish is the best he has ever tasted, every place is so amazing and he always seems to find the good in people.

I think everyone should have at least a few friends like that because life is hard enough as it without a bad attitude and people who drag you down with their negativity. We all need a little push at times and if you can’t be that cheerleader for someone then you should at least make sure you have friends who have an optimistic attitude.

A positive energy can also inform how successful you are in life. Sometimes you’ll find two people with seemingly identical lives – same type of job, earnings, same size house, number of children but what makes one so much happier that the other lies entirely with that person. When we think about what we need to be happy, the answer is extremely elusive because ultimately we are all very unique beings and although we’re told we need a minimum amount of money to live and to afford the bare necessities, there will be those who even without that still brighten up a room when they walk in.

I want to live by friend’s philosophy – I want to enjoy each and every experience as though it were the first time, to savour every day of life and marvel at the simplest of things because life really is amazing. Nature is incredible, man’s achievements are phenomenal. I want to not be jaded about everything, to realise that no matter what situation I find myself, I can always choose a glass half full.

Tail of the blue bird

I loved this novel so everything I say may be considered as slightly skewed in its favour but I think if you have an open mind and enjoy reading about Africa’s past and present you will not go wrong with Nii Ayikwei Parkes’ debut novel.

It begins in a Ghanaian village with an old man, a hunter and in a language which is apt for the setting but which can be a little confusing. There are a lot of words that you may not recognise if you are not from that part of West Africa and the old man tends to speak in proverbs, which is confusing at best of times let alone when having to also contend with foreign words written in phonetics. As I said earlier if you keep an open mind, all becomes clearer. As the story progresses, we move to Accra and encounter a young professional man, a Ghanaian returnee, who having studied in the UK is back home facing up to his responsibilities as the eldest sibling in a family that made sacrifices to give him his western education. He and his friends who are all educated and hard working professionals lament their lack of opportunities and the prevalence of corruption in the Capital city. These issues and an unexpected, unsolved mystery which the young protagonist has to solve provide a background for the novel, a thread that runs through it. For me, the real story is about the relationship between the modern and the traditional, the old and the young and other contrasts found throughout the novel. We learn though that the world functions best when these differences complement each other. In the village, Kwadwo, the young man, having studied forensic pathology is able to treat a broken arm while the traditional doctor offers the patient pain relief in the form of a herbal concoction. And through the eyes of the young protagonist, we understand the ways of the old man, the hunter, better. His words make sense and we are able to reflect on the proverbs he uses to respond to questions about life and death and begin to understand that too.

The author’s depictions are so vivid, I felt as though I was transported to Ghana; I could smell the palm nut soup in the village, taste the palm wine and hear the coastline in Accra. There is something magical and yet pertinent about the novel. Aside from an admiration for Parkes’ writing style, it also left me with a new found respect for African culture and its relevance in the world today.
Tail of the Blue Bird

Inception

"I think they were going for a " how far does the rabbit hole go?" concept, and they may have gotten just a tad bit carried away." I love this line a friend used to describe this film. I went to see it with so much anticipation having read the incredible reviews only to find myself looking around the cinema half way through wondering if I was the only to notice that the Emperor really wasn't wearing any clothes. This is exactly how I felt for 148 rather painful minutes as the film's plot thickened and got progressively ridiculous.

The concept of the power of dreams makes sense to me as I'm sure it does to most of us who've often been freaked out by how real things seemed during a dream, so they definitely had me on that. The premise for the mission however was where I thought - are you kidding me? So Leo and pals needed to get into the mind of a powerful businessman to get him to break up his company. Call me naive but why go through all that when you can try good ole fashioned threat of violence or blackmail or if you want to do things the legal way then why not just set him up with a gorgeous gal who he'll fall head over heels for and who can then manipulate him into doing exactly what she wants. Trust me, it works a treat, ask any man with a wife.
Aside from the multiple layers which made the film lose its credibility, I also didn't understand the need for ridiculously gratuitous shooting and bullet-dodging. I felt like I'd mistakenly stumbled into an action flick, where the baddies far outnumber the good guys but never seem to be able to accurately shoot and kill one of them. In a word, it was all a bit too Hollywood for me.
At the end of my torturous cinema trip and just because I hate feeling like the only one who didn't get memo, I decided to ask a few people what they thought and the responses varied from looks of bewilderment to outright confessions of "I didn't get it."
So what were the directors thinking? Apparently the trick is to confuse the hell out of the audience so they have to go back and watch the film again and again...repeatedly lining the already wealthy film makers' and stars' pockets. Hmm, genius really....except for one thing ... why on earth would we, the cinema-goers knowingly put ourselves through another two and a half hours of far-fetched nonsense? Or maybe the ploy is to enter into our dreams and convince us this is a brilliant film. Now that, I'd pay again to see you do Mr DiCaprio.

The Help

Good storytelling is a rare thing. Granted, there are good books and good authors but not all have to ability to write so well that you wonder whether they stole someone's story and are telling it as their own. The last time I had this feeling was after reading Memoirs of a Geisha and according to the court case and subsequent settlement, I was right.
Kathryn Stockett, however is not completely unfamiliar with her book's subject matter, she was born and raised in Jackson, Mississippi, the town which she writes about. Yet what's remarkable is not that she is able to convincingly tell the story of a White Southern woman who was raised by a loving Black woman and who has ambitions of being a writer - that's hardly farfetched given the author's own biography; it's that she is able to tell a believable and poignant story from a Black point of view, from the perspective of the maids. It may not seem such a difficult task, as one can always imagine what 'the help' are thinking but its the less tangible things - the sentiments, the aspirations, the ambiguity of their feelings towards the people they worked for and the children they cared for that makes this book so deserving of all the praise it has received. She is able to capture emotions and nuances so convincingly that we forget the colour of her skin at times and the fact that she comes from the 'other side'.
The story is so compelling that I found it impossible to put the book down; praying for my computer to take a little longer to start up so I continue reading and finish the chapter I'd started on my way to work. You can see the women in the story so vividly; the three main characters whose stories we hear, Skeeter, Aibeleen and Minny all inspire so much admiration, that you want to learn more about their lives and what will become of them after page 444.

The Help will move you and no matter how cynical you are it will make you acnowledge the simplicity of life when choose to ignore the fictitious lines that are meant to divide us.
The Help

The rock and then some....

A colleague just announced that she got engaged during a short European break and every female in the office rushed over to her squealing with delight and exclaiming how pleased they were for her. She then got asked the pre-requisite 'How did he propose' question. I couldn't help but feel irritated and before you start thinking its because I'm a bitter old maid, let me make it clear that I'm happily married. My irritation is caused by the fact that she has been living with her partner for a number of years so it would surprise me if the thought of marriage hadn't crossed her mind.Yet she waited patiently and passively for her boyfriend to present her with the wonderful gift of agreeing to marry her. And it seems to happen that way for most women, some of them wait even longer hoping and praying that the long relationship/cohabitation will culminate in a wedding and they can declare their happily ever after.
Were it not for a woman's biological clock it would hardly matter that her partner who but for the ring, she has decided to settle down with, has taken 4 or 6 or even 10 years to propose to her. However the reality is that a woman will find it harder to have babies the older she gets and aside from that small problem, women as well as men I suspect, think of long term relationships as an investment.You've spent time getting to know someone so you don’t want to be dumped after countless visits to the parents' home without any real thought and dare I add, the formalities of a divorce. Think about how easy it is to break up with a boyfriend or girlfriend and you'll get the anxiety long term girlfriends feel.
I guess that's why so many are grateful when their partners see sense and pop the question.

Another colleague recently went for a romantic weekend to New York and declared before leaving that if her partner didn't propose whilst they were there as she suspected/hoped he was going to - she would be devastated. As it happened, he didn't propose and she's still with him, waiting, hoping ....no doubt praying.
This seems to be the one thing that still allows men to yield so much power over women.
Or perhaps it’s a simple case of women knowing they want to get married sooner than men and therefore having to wait until the man is ready. Maybe it is just a timing thing but I wish I could tell men that marriage actually is the best thing that society invented to help make their lives easier. I wish more of them knew that it works better for them than it does for us. Married men are more successful in the workplace, women find them more attractive than their unmarried counterparts and the biggest blow of all they live longer than single men - honest, if you don't believe me look it up.
Married women on the other hand die earlier than single women, the stress of waiting for the proposal and then spending all their energy organising the wedding day probably has something to do with it.
So next time the urge to squeal and express delight when a female friend/colleague announces her engagement, stop a second and think of what she has in store. Obviously don't tell her this but just keep in mind that she will soon be juggling domestic chores, children and be expected to stay slim, gorgeous, youthful, not to mention perform like a world class hooker in the bedroom. Spare a thought for this poor unsuspecting singleton who hasn't a clue what she's letting herself in for.

Where did summer go?

They say the Brits live for their holidays and who can blame us when summer passes by with the blink of an eye. Each year we're on tenterhooks wondering what kind of summer we'll have and each year if we're lucky we get 30 days of so-called heat wave weather - i.e. 25-27°celsius but not continuous mind you.

When those rare days come, the media gets into frenzy with statistics about how many years it has been since the last heat wave and this is followed by the overly-obvious health and safety warnings telling people to make sure they carry water with them. It’s a miracle people in the Caribbean and other tropical countries aren’t dropping off every second from dehydration.

The British public for their part are happy to strip down to the bare minimum at the first sighting of the sun…..such is the level of sun starvation in this country.

May usually starts off well enough with a few warm days which make the news headlines and are billed as ‘the hottest it’s been this time of the year for the past decade/century/millennium.

June is often the most promising with atleast a week or two of continuous sunshine – in other words decent summer weather. We’re so grateful that even when it starts raining 14 days later, we comment that ‘we’ve had a good summer’.

July which should be the peak of summer ends up being a bit of a washout – we turn into confused idiots not quite knowing what to wear, the mornings are dull grey and quite cold and by the afternoon we’re cursing ourselves for having worn those 50 denier tights which seemed like such a good idea as the cold wind battered us on the way to the office.

Finally August we’re told by the weather forecasters (who may as well be called weather psychics as they are as accurate as Mystic Meg) will see a return of the hot weather even a heat wave or two. And so we wait….and wait…week one…grey and rainy…not particularly cold but certainly not warm, week two – drizzly wet weather forcing us to bring out the spring jackets….then we hope it will all change in time for the bank holiday weekend, we pray that Mr Sunshine will make a comeback bigger than 80s shoulder pads……and go ahead with our plans for the kiddie picnic and family barbecue. Of course, as with each year the chances of a sunny end of August are slim to say the least…..especially as August bank holiday has become synonymous with rain. So there ends our last hope of decent summer weather.

Finally September comes round and we know it’s all over and we want to weep into our scarves. It wouldn’t be so bad if we had had three months of predictable summer weather but what makes it a real b**** and why we resort to flicking through the Mediterranean holiday brochures, is that summer has just passed us by…unceremoniously. Fortunately for us the South of France, Spain, Greece and Italy are a hop, skip and a jump away so we can rest assured that our strappy dresses and bikinis which still have their tags on, will get a viewing at last and for longer than just a few pathetic hours of sunshine which in short is what charaterizes British summer.

Let's hear it for New York

I think New York City is one of those places that you either love or hate. It’s impossible to be indifferent towards this giant of a city with possibly fewer Americans than anywhere else in USA. New York like London epitomises the term melting pot – there are so many diverse cultures living under the New York sky that calling yourself American could not be less chic. Everyone is proud to talk about their country of origin, and unlike so many other parts of the US, few people want to claim the American identity as their own. I guess life is more fun being Afro-Japanese, Senegalese, Trinidadian or Ecuadorian, when you living in New York City anyway.
I first discovered the city as a teenager, so being young and extremely self-confident, I relished its intensity and felt quite comfortable taking in the sights one block at a time. I suspect though that if I’d gone there as an adult, especially as a mother, I may have found it all a little overwhelming. Where do you start? The choices seem so numerous that making a decision about what to do and where to eat can be a day’s task in itself.

For eating out – you can go for Brazilian at Casa in the West Village, French at Chez Oskar in Fort Greene, Soul food at Sylvia’s in Harlem or Indian and Latin American fusion at Vermillion in midtown Manhattan.

For entertainment – do we see Fela on Broadway, The Roots with Talib Kweli on Summer Stage in Prospect Park or The Merchant of Venice as part of Shakespeare in the Park in Central Park?

For the kids – there’s the Imagination Playground at South Street Seaport, the Water park in Chelsea or the Kidflix film Festival in Fulton Park.

If shopping is your thing then head to Soho for a range of high street and designer stores or check out the countless department stores from Bloomingdales to Bloomingdales to Macy’s to Saks Fifth Avenue. And coming away with a light blue box, however little from Tiffany’s is a treat for most women.

Whatever you choose to do there seems to be one guarantee when you visit New York and that is boredom is not part of the itinerary. New York is an intense city with something for everyone, and even the pizzazz of Times Square is not your cup of tea, there is some little corner of the big apple that is sure to appeal whatever your taste.
The Best Things to Do in New York City: 1001 Ideas

The Worst Date Ever

Who would have thought a book about human rights violations and government corruption in Northern Uganda could be so hilarious and 'unputdownable' (yeah it's a real word ..I know..I thought so too)? Jane Bussman's dry wit is outrageously British but I think everyone with a sense of humour can relate and will find themselves snorting with laughter inspite of their best efforts not to. I laughed so hard at this book which pulls no punches that I eventually had to confine my reading to indoors in case someone on the train  thought I'd lost the plot and decided to have me committed for acute insanity.

The main subject matter is the war in Northern Uganda but far from writing a typical book about an African tragedy that says 'these poor souls', Bussman mocks the situation and pokes fun at everyone from the international community read: donor governments like the UK and the USA to the NGO do-goders who she dubs ironically 'The Useful People' to the rebels themselves including their leader who she describes as a Rick James lookalike and lastly but by no means least the extremely corrupt Ugandan government. The situation is so shockingly tragic and the complicity of those involved so infuriating to the ordinary person that by telling the story in the farcical way she does, rather than feeling angry and helpless, we're propelled into wanting to do something. What's more she tells us that we can do something, we can ask questions of our local MP:  http://www.theyworkforyou.com/

This book is well worth a read, not only is it hilarious, it will teach you a great deal about humanitarian crises, bureaucracy and above all corruption that involves even those we think are there to help. There's also a good chunk on Hollywood where she worked as a showbiz writer and its bizarre stars and lifestyle. I will never look at Ashton Kutcher in the same way again.

By writing this book and raising our awareness of the plight of thousands of children in Northern Uganda, Jane Bussman has proven that she really is one of the useful people in the true sense of the word.
The Worst Date Ever: War Crimes, Hollywood Heart-Throbs and Other Abominations

Oh YAHOO why did you have to go there?

My first email account was with Yahoo mail….and without revealing too much about my age, I think it might have been about 14 years ago. I’ve been faithful to the internet email provider ever since and was grateful when they removed  the memory quota from email accounts. It means large attachments - from photos of loved ones scattered all over the globe to home videos can be emailed to me and it doesn’t cost me a penny or worse still a clogged up inbox to receive and open them.

Recently however I’ve been disappointed to find that Yahoo is trying to imitate Facebook with status updates. I mean really…aren’t Twitter and Facebook enough, must I really have to receive an update that some random bloke whose email address I happen to have is picking his nose as I'm having my breakfast and checking my email? Even more disturbing I received a recent update about my former boss – it said X has a new avatar - he is now wearing Grey Short Hair & High Forehead. Really? Really is this information of any use to me or any other human being on this planet apart from the owner of the stupid cartoon himself? FYI an avatar is a little cartoon image yahoo users can create of themselves - usually a lot more flattering than an actual owner but that's fair enough. We all like to embellish now and then. But to come back to my boss' new avatar, firstly I don’t know what his avatar looked like before in any event and my immediate reaction to this juicy 'news' read: dull yahoo update was of course it should have grey short hair and a high forehead because that is exactly what its owner looks like. How is this newsworthy?

What’s more people have taken to commenting on each other’s status updates. "'X' just had mushy peas and chips for dinner". Y will respond…"OMG, I love mushy peas, is it tasty?" Really people…really! Enough already with dissecting each minute detail of people and their dull lives. I have gotten used to Facebook – it serves its purpose, I get to keep in touch with my friends and get their support for things I’m doing and yes sometimes I do gloat about the latest holiday I'm going on or fab event I'm attending. As far as Twitter is concerned, the jury’s still out; I recognise that it can be useful for announcing breaking news although even this depends on you following interesting people with something to say but let’s face it if you wait a few seconds you’ll get the same news (this time verified) on most reliable networks anyway.
I draw the line at social networking on Yahoo however; I think it should be kept in its pure form – an email account. If you want me to know what is going on in your life then drop me a line. I don’t want to read your status update to find out you just had a baby. Let's all make it a goal to get a life by getting away from all these social networking tools and interacting with real people in real and meaningful ways.

Happy Birthday Madiba

Today is a great man's birthday, one of the few men who truly deserve the title of great. Nelson Madiba Mandela is 92 years old and what an incredible and accomplished life it has been.
Inspite of the adversities he's faced, the suffering and hardship, this incredible man gives us all reason to hope in the good of people. He is universally respected because few of us have ever witnessed such humility and magnanimity from a living being. You get the sense that he is one person who believes 100% in the values that he teaches, he leads by example and inspires everyone regardless of colour or creed.
There are a few things in this world that unite us all, whether you are in a small village in Tanzania, a city in Eastern Europe or an island in the Caribbean, one of those things is the music of  Robert Nesta 'Bob' Marley, another is the universal admiration for Nelson Mandela. Regardless of the language you speak those are two things that will always transcend cultures.

It remains a mystery where Mandela finds his strength and resilience, but to hear him speak and reason, you can't help but think that he must be someone who spends time meditating or praying. How else is he able to be so calm, thoughtul and selfless even when the urge for anger, bitterness and revenge is so strong?
I may be alone in thinking this but I believe human beings are good at heart, in our core but our tendancy is to be selfish, there seems to be a natural urge to put ourselves before others. Perhaps this is part of our animal trait because ofcourse animals protect themselves first, before and sometimes at the expense of others. Mr Mandela however has time and again rejected the inward looking solution for one that helps and protects others including his people. Instead of feeling anger towards those who his people for decades and kept him imprisoned for 27 long years, he forgave them and agreed to share power with them. Rather than cling to power as so many leaders have done, he stepped down for the good of his country. Although Mandela was influenced by Mahatma Ghandi and his non-violent resistance methods, he was never afraid to speak out against those who supported the apartheid regime and call out the many who tried to hinder the peace process. Far from being a 'turn the other cheek' kind of leader, Mandela was never afraid to speak up and has done so on several occasions within and beyond South African politics.
What I find most inspirational about Nelson Mandela is his humility, he reminds us all that we are equally capable of greatness, simply by being good people who live by our values. His legacy is alive and will continue to resonate from one corner of the earth to the othe even after he has gone.

My Favourite Three P's

I really do like to eat and one of my favourite dishes has to be any combination of  my Three P's: Pork, Potatoes and Peas or Pork, Peas and Pasta.  Some lovely pork shoulders or chipolatas seasoned and sliced  with garlic and butter...yum.

Well, at a regular gathering recently for us women at re:view and our ever-growing base of friends, one friend walks in looking amazingly slim and trim (nearly back to pre-baby weight).  After a fun game of guessing how she did it--no, she wasn't with a tape worm, and she did't catch the ever-elusive-but-highly-sought-after tummy bug--she told us about her secret weapon...a book of all things! (and, for the record, she did not eat the book)

"Stop Counting Calories & Start Losing Weight: The Harcombe Diet" by Zoe Harcombe teaches its followers to lose weight and keep it off by following three phases of eating designed to keep the hunger bug at bay and reduce your cravings.  Thus, one can stick to it and eventually lose weight. Phase 1 is just five days long and is similar to the popular Atkins Diet.  It kick starts your body to a new way of eating.  From what I've seen of friends who've done it, very short and effective.  Phase 2 brings in more variety of food and continues the war that started in phase1 of attacking the three food cravings which the book focuses on, namely Food Intolerance, Candida and Hypoglyceamia.  Phase 3 continues the work of phase 2 but with even more freedom of foods.  Harcombe calls it cheating without gaining weight (I'm still a bit fuzzy on this one, but I already like the sound of it).  By this point, I assume one will have already gotten used to a new way of eating and having seen the impressive results (weight loss, feeling great, lots of attention from the husband) know what works for their body.

I've seen the proof in others who have followed in our pioneering friends' footsteps and joined the Harcombe bandwagon.  What appeals to me is that, save the first phase, there are no restrictions (!) to what youcan eat, nor are there any quantity restrictions (!!).  Instead, this diet gets one to think of things like GI and how one mixes carbohydrates and fats and proteins...or rather how one doesn't mix the three-hence my goodbye speech to my favourite Three P's.

Also, as the good old metabolism slows down to snail pace and the love handles and back fat start to take prominence, the Harcombe Diet promises to be the one that will totally revolutionize the way I've been looking at food and provide me with a way of eating for life without completely missing out.  I'm not one to go on diets, but wish me luck as I embark on this one..many a friend have gone before me and I look forward to it.  Look out for a future post titled 'My Favourite Two P's'!

Table for One

It takes a certain amount of thick skin to walk into a restaurant, a proper one and book a table for One. Yes that's right, I'd like a table for one, no I'm not expecting a friend or a date or some other random companion, just planning to eat a nice meal, with a glass of wine on my own.
With an hour to kill before a play I decided to go and eat at a  restaurant and found my experience suprisingly comfortable. The waiter who welcomed me was very polite and showed me to my table, there was none of this removing the second chair or shouting to his colleagues that there was a loner in the house that we often find in films. Infact I found another lady also eating alone albeit with a newspaper for company. There was probably a slight unease on my part as I found it difficult to take my time and savour my food and wine alone. There are no conversation fillers to go with the slow and deliberate chewing, no comparing notes or eating off your companion's plate. I found myself eating much quicker and was quite eager to get the bill. The other diners were also completely oblivious or maybe even indifferent to my dining experience and I probably could have stayed there for much longer without any issues whatsoever.
Things have clearly moved on and eating out alone need not be a dreaded experience. Obviously its preferable to share a restaurant experience with friends or partners but should you find yourself alone and keen to enjoy proper food, then fear not, pop into any restaurant and book a table for one....as loudly as you please. Then sit down....take your time and enjoy!!

Carluccio's Penne Giadiniera

I love Italian food so admittedly I'm a little biased but the first time I tried the Penne Giadiniera at Carluccio's, I thought I was in heaven! This dish is simple but so incredibly tasty and satisfying, large penne pasta drizzled with olive oil, copious amounts of garlic and grated courgettes. Topped with little balls of crunchy spinach deliciousness. This dish is so satisfying and the beauty of it is that you can have it with a vegetarian friend as there's not morcel of meat or fish in sight.

And that's not all folks, Antonio Carluccio sets the charitable standard for other restaurants by donating 50p from every dish of Penne Giardiniera to Action Against Hunger, the humanitarian charity that works in over 40 countries helping families to feed their children and build a sustainable future.

A visit to Carluccio's is highly recommended, aside from yummy Italian dishes in the restaurant, each branch has an adjacent deli which serves up anything from fresh olives to huge scrumptious meringues to diving slices of carrot cake topped with a cream cheese icing. But if geography prevents you from visiting the restaurants located all over the UK and Dubai, then try making this dish yourself. The recipe can be found on their food blog. http://www.carluccios.com/our-food/blog/food/my-first-blog-item

If your creation makes your mouth water, you can just imagine how much better it will taste when you try the real thing made by the Italian master chefs and how much better you'll feel knowing that you're satisfyng your taste buds and your social conscience.

Who is Jimmy Choo?

I have read so much about the amazing Ms Tamara Mellon, the genius behind Jimmy Choo that I was convinced that Jimmy Choo was a made up name rather than infact the name of the Malaysian designer who should be credited for these amazingly sexy shoes that have helped many women rediscover their inner goddess.
Imagine my surprise after reading countless articles about Tamara Mellon and her unshakeable confidence and style, the former shopgirl who founded Jimmy Choo 14 years ago to come across an article in my local magazine, Le -Limited Edition about the real albeit small in size Mr Jimmy Choo.
I must have read dozens of article which give absolutely no credit to the man whose name we so love to wear. Jimmy Choo OBE is of Chinese descent, he made his first pair of shoes aged 11 and graduated from Cordwainers Technical College in London Borough of Hackney. He co-founded Jimmy Choo Ltd with Tamara Mellon in 1983 although we'd never know this reading the glossies. Apparently the two fell out in 2001 and he later sold his 50% share of the ready to wear company but still works on the couture range.
Whilst I appreciate the appeal of a sexy feisty businesswoman who seems to have been the brains and certainly finance behind the brand, we still have to give credit and kudos to the man whose creativity and name has left so many of us in awe of this smokingly sexy brand.
Here's to you Mr Choo and your fabulous shoes!

My heart strings have really been pulled with John Lewis' new TV advert set to Billy Joel's beautfiul song, 'She's Always a Woman'. At first I couldn't figure out it's magic hold over me or why I identified with it so much (why, on God's Green Earth does it reduce me to tears each and every time?). But I finally put my finger on it and realised that it speaks to the many stages that women go through in life. I smiled to think how my parents lovingly cared for me when I was only little and totally dependent on them...the fabulous college years...falling in love...having the bambino's...raising said bambino's.

It makes me realise how one must live in the present and that my life is going as it should be--the fun bits and the less than fun bits.

Apparently, John Lewis has a lifetime commitment to me. I never knew it, but I believe they just may do.

CHRIS OFILI



I was completely consumed by Chris Olifi’s new exhibition at the Tate Britain. Immediately drawn to vibrant colours and intricately ornamented paintings bringing together over 45 paintings from the mid 1990s to the present. Ofili’s pencil drawings and watercolours left me gazing in a trance. He built up his international reputation through hard work underpinned by his cultural beliefs and drawings from a wide range of influences from Zimbabwean cave paintings and blaxploitation. He moved to Trinidad in 2005 and adopting a simplified palette suggests to me that Ofili’s extraordinary talent for simplicity and emotional depth resonates through his current exhibition.

The highlights for me were Blue Riders 2006 (oli, acrylic and charcoal on lined 278 4 x 200.2). Confronted by this deep blue sensory overload sent shivers all over. Followed by The Upper Room (installation of thirteen paintings) The more you study them the more they leave you wondering what more can he offer us.
A must see exhibition www.tatebritain.co.uk

YABBA AFROBEAST FUNK

For the past four years this culturally diverse group "YABBA FUNK" have been working the London underground club scene creating a huge following from the young to the old no sitting down in your seats. They draw influences from Alhaji K Frimpong, Fela Kuti, Oscar Sulley but to name a few. You may ask what do the group stand? In the words of their commander and chief Richmond Kessie "we want to revive Afrobeat with a twist and get people dancing again" For those of you who are unfamiliar with the term "Afrobeat" its roots lie in Ghanaian and Nigerian sounds from the 60s and 70s as well as funk, broken beat and jazz.

"YABBA AFROBEAST FUNK" is on general release definitely one for your collection!!

ACQUA di PARMA

As I walk through any beauty counter, I am always drawn to the Acqua Di Parma concession, and proceed to do what I "always do" give myself a couple of squirts of any fragrance...usually the closest. I absolutely adore the classic cologne, but can't get myself out of my Jo Malone Fragrance Block to actually purchase any (5 years and counting.) Except for the used bottle of Violet a friend passed on. Ok, so scarf and body adequately doused in Acqua di Parma, I loved it! It was light, fresh tangy lemon with hints of lavender...all my favourite scents and for £46 pounds a steal for such a large 180ml bottle...if only I'd paid attention to the small(ish) print..It was their Room Fragrance! In hindsight, you could see how I got confused it is called COLONIA, same as the classic Eau de Cologne but half the price. So, the verdict, the scent evaporated off me by the time I turned the corner, BUT..my scarf still has a beautiful citrus scent, and I have been asked on 2 occasions what fragrance it is..I'll leave you to guess what I said....

Love = Responsibility

I'm always telling my boys how television rots the brain. Mostly they just ignore me but every once in a while will actually humour me: "Do you mean like your brain stops working, mum?" "EXACTLY!" I tell them.

It’s the age old dilemma of doing as I say rather than as I do because (I admit) I probably watch more TV than I need to. Though there is some real junk out there on the silver screen these days (Eastenders and Total Wipeout not included) every once in a while the networks come up with a real gem.

Welcome to Lagos on BBC Two is, in my opinion, is one such diamond in the rough (with emphasis on the word rough).

This programme focuses on the lives of people of the slums of Lagos and on the face of it, the inhabitants should be pitied. But on the contrary, they are rich in the ways of family, work ethic and get-up-and-go-go-go!

There are many lessons that one may take away from the BBC three-part series. For example, in the lesson on recycling we see how the discarded waste is trawled through and used in enterprising ways such as for creating landfills and profitable industry. Onto 'Determination 101' and we see how our protagonists work long, hard hours in extreme conditions (we're talking waste grounds and sewers here) in order to support their families. This syllabus in this school of life in Lagos including 'Citizenship', 'Home Economics' and my personal favourite, 'Every-Cloud-has-a-Silver-Lining'.

It's the kind of television I'm happy to watch with children as it raises interesting topics for thinking and discussing and learning. It simply reminds us of the basic values of family and the equation relating love and responsibility.

Brother, I'm dying - Edwidge Danticat

Few writers have the ability to make their work seem and sound effortless, like a friend recounting an event or a grandmother telling folktales to her grandchild. Edwidge Danticat is one of these few. Whether its fiction or fact, she is able to speak to her reader like a friend, with no pretences, in a frank and open way that engages the reader and makes them believe and love the stories she tells.
I read the synopsis of this book some time ago and found it so sad that although I wanted to read and find out what exactly happened to this uncle of hers who died in custody of American immigration officials, I couldn't help but put it off until I felt my stomach could take such apparent tragedy.
Yet Brother, I'm dying is so much more than just a tragic tale of a man wrongly accused of entering America illegally, it is in essence Ms Danticat (pronounced Dan-tih-cah)'s memoirs. Beautifully and simply written, it tells of her time in Haiti living with her aunt and uncle recounting the many stories of her fascinating and yet ordinary Haitian family. It also tells the story of Haiti, its beauty, its people and yes its political turmoil and the effects of the natural disasters it has endured over the years.
What makes this book special is the thread of love that runs throughout every page and every chapter. The characters love for each other is so endearing and so heartwarming, it makes you wonder whether your family's story could evoke such admiration and empathy. Far from being flamboyant, larger than life characters, Ms Danticat's family members are simple country folk but with so much wisdom to impart, so much hope and aspirations that we can all relate to their trials and tribulations. Her father and his brother are the subject of the book and its title and their love for each other is incredibly strong inspite of their physical distance throughout much of their adult life.
The content of Brother I'm dying to some extent betrays its title because it is a story about lives and how they intertwine, about the ties that make families strong and also about the circle of life. We go from Edwidge the child of four to Edwidge the mother of one. Ms Danticat shifts from past to present all the while leaving us in awe of her and her family's story.
This is a stunningly written memoir that you will enjoy and cherish and that may even evoke a profound appreciation for your own family or at the very least for life and its simple beauty.

M & S Cocoa-coloured tights

I love wearing skirts which is sometimes not conducive to the weather so out come the tights. In the winter its an easy choice, opaque tights invariably in black but sometimes in dark brown. I'm less keen on the brightly coloured variety as I have yet to see anyone whose legs they flatter. In the Spring however, when the temperatures are not quite right for bare legs, finding tights becomes a battle. Most shops do nearly black tights which for the record do not translate to flesh coloured for dark-skinned people. I imagine this must come as a shock to most retailers who seem to offer it as the only choice for people with darker skin. I confess that before a very kind and very wise friend told me about an alternative, I too used to wear these grey looking tights that were just as obvious looking as me wearing the 'flesh' coloured tights also offer or black tights for that matter.
In come cocoa-coloured tights which I discovered last spring much to my delight. This colour is stocked by Marks and Spencers albeit not in all its ranges, you can find them in their 10 dernier and 7 denier ranges as well as most of the Body Shaper ranges. These are indeed flesh coloured tights for people with darker skin, they look fantastic on and often people have to look closely or in the case of my three year old son, touch your legs to confirm that you are indeed wearing tights. The result is that I can now wear shorter skirt without fear of having unsightly goose pimply legs when the Spring wind starts to rage.
The only downside is that these tights are not available from all branches but they can be bought online with prices ranging from £3.50 for the 7 denier ladder resist range to £5 for the body shapers which also does wonders for your tummy.

The Blind Side

My first reason for wanting to see this film was the lovely Ms Sandra Bullock. In the extremely self-obsessed industry that is Hollywood, she seems to have managed to stay well grounded and most importantly doesn't appear to take herself too seriously. I also wanted to see it because I'd heard that it was a based on a true story about a white wealthy republican woman who took in a homeless black boy. Although I seldom admit it, I'm something of a firm believer in the good of people, regardless of colour or creed, I think that at the core we are decent beings who want to help and support each other. Before you scoff, note I say at the core....for some people there are tons of mean-spirited layers to peel off before you can find their goodness.
The Blind Side is a lovely film, one that warms your heart and makes you question what you would do in such a situation. Sandra Bullock plays Leigh Anne Tuohy brilliantly; although she is a Christian Republican, there is no sanctimonious preaching and hardly any reminders of her family's political views except for when she finally comes across a democrat. She is a reminder of what a good Christian should be like, or rather what a good person should be like...regardless of their religious beliefs and political views.
If I had one criticism of this film it would be that her family seemed unrealistically perfect; perhaps this was intentionally done to provide a stark contrast with Michael's life or perhaps this really is what the Tuohy family is/was like. Whatever the reason, my feeling is that watching a beautiful couple who never argue, and children who don't seem to give their parents any cause for concern make it hard for most of us to relate. However this was a minor point, the film in itself was well done and Sandra Bullock is deserving of her Oscar Award. The key factor that makes The Blind Side special though is that it's based on fact not fiction.
All in all, a great film - even though American football is still a mystery to me, I was left with a warm feeling and a smile on my face.