The rock and then some....

A colleague just announced that she got engaged during a short European break and every female in the office rushed over to her squealing with delight and exclaiming how pleased they were for her. She then got asked the pre-requisite 'How did he propose' question. I couldn't help but feel irritated and before you start thinking its because I'm a bitter old maid, let me make it clear that I'm happily married. My irritation is caused by the fact that she has been living with her partner for a number of years so it would surprise me if the thought of marriage hadn't crossed her mind.Yet she waited patiently and passively for her boyfriend to present her with the wonderful gift of agreeing to marry her. And it seems to happen that way for most women, some of them wait even longer hoping and praying that the long relationship/cohabitation will culminate in a wedding and they can declare their happily ever after.
Were it not for a woman's biological clock it would hardly matter that her partner who but for the ring, she has decided to settle down with, has taken 4 or 6 or even 10 years to propose to her. However the reality is that a woman will find it harder to have babies the older she gets and aside from that small problem, women as well as men I suspect, think of long term relationships as an investment.You've spent time getting to know someone so you don’t want to be dumped after countless visits to the parents' home without any real thought and dare I add, the formalities of a divorce. Think about how easy it is to break up with a boyfriend or girlfriend and you'll get the anxiety long term girlfriends feel.
I guess that's why so many are grateful when their partners see sense and pop the question.

Another colleague recently went for a romantic weekend to New York and declared before leaving that if her partner didn't propose whilst they were there as she suspected/hoped he was going to - she would be devastated. As it happened, he didn't propose and she's still with him, waiting, hoping ....no doubt praying.
This seems to be the one thing that still allows men to yield so much power over women.
Or perhaps it’s a simple case of women knowing they want to get married sooner than men and therefore having to wait until the man is ready. Maybe it is just a timing thing but I wish I could tell men that marriage actually is the best thing that society invented to help make their lives easier. I wish more of them knew that it works better for them than it does for us. Married men are more successful in the workplace, women find them more attractive than their unmarried counterparts and the biggest blow of all they live longer than single men - honest, if you don't believe me look it up.
Married women on the other hand die earlier than single women, the stress of waiting for the proposal and then spending all their energy organising the wedding day probably has something to do with it.
So next time the urge to squeal and express delight when a female friend/colleague announces her engagement, stop a second and think of what she has in store. Obviously don't tell her this but just keep in mind that she will soon be juggling domestic chores, children and be expected to stay slim, gorgeous, youthful, not to mention perform like a world class hooker in the bedroom. Spare a thought for this poor unsuspecting singleton who hasn't a clue what she's letting herself in for.