Make mine a glass half full

Positive people are such a breath of fresh air. I have a friend who is always excited about life, no matter how seemingly dull or banal the experience; he will make it sound like the best thing since sliced bread. Every dish is the best he has ever tasted, every place is so amazing and he always seems to find the good in people.

I think everyone should have at least a few friends like that because life is hard enough as it without a bad attitude and people who drag you down with their negativity. We all need a little push at times and if you can’t be that cheerleader for someone then you should at least make sure you have friends who have an optimistic attitude.

A positive energy can also inform how successful you are in life. Sometimes you’ll find two people with seemingly identical lives – same type of job, earnings, same size house, number of children but what makes one so much happier that the other lies entirely with that person. When we think about what we need to be happy, the answer is extremely elusive because ultimately we are all very unique beings and although we’re told we need a minimum amount of money to live and to afford the bare necessities, there will be those who even without that still brighten up a room when they walk in.

I want to live by friend’s philosophy – I want to enjoy each and every experience as though it were the first time, to savour every day of life and marvel at the simplest of things because life really is amazing. Nature is incredible, man’s achievements are phenomenal. I want to not be jaded about everything, to realise that no matter what situation I find myself, I can always choose a glass half full.

Tail of the blue bird

I loved this novel so everything I say may be considered as slightly skewed in its favour but I think if you have an open mind and enjoy reading about Africa’s past and present you will not go wrong with Nii Ayikwei Parkes’ debut novel.

It begins in a Ghanaian village with an old man, a hunter and in a language which is apt for the setting but which can be a little confusing. There are a lot of words that you may not recognise if you are not from that part of West Africa and the old man tends to speak in proverbs, which is confusing at best of times let alone when having to also contend with foreign words written in phonetics. As I said earlier if you keep an open mind, all becomes clearer. As the story progresses, we move to Accra and encounter a young professional man, a Ghanaian returnee, who having studied in the UK is back home facing up to his responsibilities as the eldest sibling in a family that made sacrifices to give him his western education. He and his friends who are all educated and hard working professionals lament their lack of opportunities and the prevalence of corruption in the Capital city. These issues and an unexpected, unsolved mystery which the young protagonist has to solve provide a background for the novel, a thread that runs through it. For me, the real story is about the relationship between the modern and the traditional, the old and the young and other contrasts found throughout the novel. We learn though that the world functions best when these differences complement each other. In the village, Kwadwo, the young man, having studied forensic pathology is able to treat a broken arm while the traditional doctor offers the patient pain relief in the form of a herbal concoction. And through the eyes of the young protagonist, we understand the ways of the old man, the hunter, better. His words make sense and we are able to reflect on the proverbs he uses to respond to questions about life and death and begin to understand that too.

The author’s depictions are so vivid, I felt as though I was transported to Ghana; I could smell the palm nut soup in the village, taste the palm wine and hear the coastline in Accra. There is something magical and yet pertinent about the novel. Aside from an admiration for Parkes’ writing style, it also left me with a new found respect for African culture and its relevance in the world today.
Tail of the Blue Bird

Inception

"I think they were going for a " how far does the rabbit hole go?" concept, and they may have gotten just a tad bit carried away." I love this line a friend used to describe this film. I went to see it with so much anticipation having read the incredible reviews only to find myself looking around the cinema half way through wondering if I was the only to notice that the Emperor really wasn't wearing any clothes. This is exactly how I felt for 148 rather painful minutes as the film's plot thickened and got progressively ridiculous.

The concept of the power of dreams makes sense to me as I'm sure it does to most of us who've often been freaked out by how real things seemed during a dream, so they definitely had me on that. The premise for the mission however was where I thought - are you kidding me? So Leo and pals needed to get into the mind of a powerful businessman to get him to break up his company. Call me naive but why go through all that when you can try good ole fashioned threat of violence or blackmail or if you want to do things the legal way then why not just set him up with a gorgeous gal who he'll fall head over heels for and who can then manipulate him into doing exactly what she wants. Trust me, it works a treat, ask any man with a wife.
Aside from the multiple layers which made the film lose its credibility, I also didn't understand the need for ridiculously gratuitous shooting and bullet-dodging. I felt like I'd mistakenly stumbled into an action flick, where the baddies far outnumber the good guys but never seem to be able to accurately shoot and kill one of them. In a word, it was all a bit too Hollywood for me.
At the end of my torturous cinema trip and just because I hate feeling like the only one who didn't get memo, I decided to ask a few people what they thought and the responses varied from looks of bewilderment to outright confessions of "I didn't get it."
So what were the directors thinking? Apparently the trick is to confuse the hell out of the audience so they have to go back and watch the film again and again...repeatedly lining the already wealthy film makers' and stars' pockets. Hmm, genius really....except for one thing ... why on earth would we, the cinema-goers knowingly put ourselves through another two and a half hours of far-fetched nonsense? Or maybe the ploy is to enter into our dreams and convince us this is a brilliant film. Now that, I'd pay again to see you do Mr DiCaprio.

The Help

Good storytelling is a rare thing. Granted, there are good books and good authors but not all have to ability to write so well that you wonder whether they stole someone's story and are telling it as their own. The last time I had this feeling was after reading Memoirs of a Geisha and according to the court case and subsequent settlement, I was right.
Kathryn Stockett, however is not completely unfamiliar with her book's subject matter, she was born and raised in Jackson, Mississippi, the town which she writes about. Yet what's remarkable is not that she is able to convincingly tell the story of a White Southern woman who was raised by a loving Black woman and who has ambitions of being a writer - that's hardly farfetched given the author's own biography; it's that she is able to tell a believable and poignant story from a Black point of view, from the perspective of the maids. It may not seem such a difficult task, as one can always imagine what 'the help' are thinking but its the less tangible things - the sentiments, the aspirations, the ambiguity of their feelings towards the people they worked for and the children they cared for that makes this book so deserving of all the praise it has received. She is able to capture emotions and nuances so convincingly that we forget the colour of her skin at times and the fact that she comes from the 'other side'.
The story is so compelling that I found it impossible to put the book down; praying for my computer to take a little longer to start up so I continue reading and finish the chapter I'd started on my way to work. You can see the women in the story so vividly; the three main characters whose stories we hear, Skeeter, Aibeleen and Minny all inspire so much admiration, that you want to learn more about their lives and what will become of them after page 444.

The Help will move you and no matter how cynical you are it will make you acnowledge the simplicity of life when choose to ignore the fictitious lines that are meant to divide us.
The Help

The rock and then some....

A colleague just announced that she got engaged during a short European break and every female in the office rushed over to her squealing with delight and exclaiming how pleased they were for her. She then got asked the pre-requisite 'How did he propose' question. I couldn't help but feel irritated and before you start thinking its because I'm a bitter old maid, let me make it clear that I'm happily married. My irritation is caused by the fact that she has been living with her partner for a number of years so it would surprise me if the thought of marriage hadn't crossed her mind.Yet she waited patiently and passively for her boyfriend to present her with the wonderful gift of agreeing to marry her. And it seems to happen that way for most women, some of them wait even longer hoping and praying that the long relationship/cohabitation will culminate in a wedding and they can declare their happily ever after.
Were it not for a woman's biological clock it would hardly matter that her partner who but for the ring, she has decided to settle down with, has taken 4 or 6 or even 10 years to propose to her. However the reality is that a woman will find it harder to have babies the older she gets and aside from that small problem, women as well as men I suspect, think of long term relationships as an investment.You've spent time getting to know someone so you don’t want to be dumped after countless visits to the parents' home without any real thought and dare I add, the formalities of a divorce. Think about how easy it is to break up with a boyfriend or girlfriend and you'll get the anxiety long term girlfriends feel.
I guess that's why so many are grateful when their partners see sense and pop the question.

Another colleague recently went for a romantic weekend to New York and declared before leaving that if her partner didn't propose whilst they were there as she suspected/hoped he was going to - she would be devastated. As it happened, he didn't propose and she's still with him, waiting, hoping ....no doubt praying.
This seems to be the one thing that still allows men to yield so much power over women.
Or perhaps it’s a simple case of women knowing they want to get married sooner than men and therefore having to wait until the man is ready. Maybe it is just a timing thing but I wish I could tell men that marriage actually is the best thing that society invented to help make their lives easier. I wish more of them knew that it works better for them than it does for us. Married men are more successful in the workplace, women find them more attractive than their unmarried counterparts and the biggest blow of all they live longer than single men - honest, if you don't believe me look it up.
Married women on the other hand die earlier than single women, the stress of waiting for the proposal and then spending all their energy organising the wedding day probably has something to do with it.
So next time the urge to squeal and express delight when a female friend/colleague announces her engagement, stop a second and think of what she has in store. Obviously don't tell her this but just keep in mind that she will soon be juggling domestic chores, children and be expected to stay slim, gorgeous, youthful, not to mention perform like a world class hooker in the bedroom. Spare a thought for this poor unsuspecting singleton who hasn't a clue what she's letting herself in for.